Friday, October 16, 2009

How Does It Work Car Sun Shade

The Five Worst movie experiences that I remember

To kill time, I tell you about 5 films that really impressed me by their ugliness. Of course, bad movies in the world do not count, and there are many others who deserve to get on this list and now I do not remember, so you have to make do for now. The list only includes movies I've seen for the first time to the movies (no TV or DVD):

5) In fifth place is this strange experiment that maimed for reasons known only to writers (as long as we can speak of writers) is entitled "Babylon AD". We do not know what drugs Vin Diesel has taken to accept being the protagonist of this horror, that would be a boring movie crazy if the viewer's attention was not constantly awakened by the plot holes so huge and spectacular as to leave you breathless. In fact, the entire film can be considered one big hole in the script, apparently arisen because of differences between the director and producer. Better luck next time, Vin!

4) In fourth place we have "The Happening," produced by a director who famously sailed between genius and coglioneria, M. Night Shyamalan (but that fucking name is, by the way?). A group of grotesquely stupid and unsympathetic characters are faced with the worst of the dangers ... bushes. Bushes that cause suicide. Yeah. Even here, the holes in the plot do not count, and were accompanied by an irritating pseudo-pantheistic philosophy. He could get out of something interesting, but it was not the case.

3) take the third place "Hot Movie," but only as a representative of a long series of spin-off of "Scary Movie" which frankly have broken my balls the whole planet. Finally, "Disaster Movie" (which I have not seen, fortunately), apparently not even bother to make a parody of a specific genre, but only to slip in for free as many references to films released in the previous year, often playing entire scenes with no modifications. Of this kind of film is not so much vulgarity to disturb (the 2 "Clerks" and "Tenacious D" were very vulgar but very funny), but the fact that is used to generate laughter, even though the gags are presented as cry.

2) In second place is a critically acclaimed film, the French "Gardens in Autumn". Why? Because movies are primarily entertainment products, and a film that has great messages and profound themes is worth nothing if it is boring, however great his messages or his deep and true themes. Who can receive these messages if you fall asleep from boredom? "Gardens in Autumn" is one of the most boring film I've ever seen. I can not even remember clearly what the fuck was the plot, because for the first and only time in my life I slept during the screening. The film is a single, large, compact, and tacky dull gray block that crushes the audience. Similar defect has it even the recent "Waltz with Bashir" in a less extreme. If it is true that even a blockbuster trade ("Iron Man," "Transformers") can be a great film, it is also true that an art film can be a crap fantozzianamente crazy.

1) in the first place is beyond any reasonable doubt that not only is the worst film that has ever been filmed and never will turn, but it is also a terrible and heinous crime against life in general and the human race in particular. I'm talking about "Zohan," the latest monstrous son of the late brilliant little Adam Sandler. "Zohan" is a film composed of shit so far in its most intimate molecule that not only defects of overflowing and pretty chilling, but even manages to simultaneously have defects that are the opposite of each other. For example, it is "politically correct" and "politically incorrect" in the worst meaning of both terms: annoyingly pro-Israel in the first part smielatamente appacificante nauseum with everyone happy and friends in the final (the obnoxious pro-Israeli track is not but never disappears entirely). Other faults? Vulgar, stupid, absurd (but not in a good way) boring, with Sandler most annoying and obnoxious than ever that plays a character more odious and obnoxious than ever. There are even those who have appreciated this film for its supposed desire to stop the Arab-Israeli conflict, but I say that both sides in the conflict should feel offended by this cinematic abortion and join forces to hunt down and kill as Sandler slow and painful as possible. How to conclude? during the screening, I wished we select the most liberating the sweet embrace of death, or at least I could get my eyes with some sharp object. The only film I recall to memory that throws in a state of anxiety and depression. NO. WATCH IT. THAT. FILM. If your choice is between see "Zohan" and be raped by a gorilla made of coca, choose the gorilla and certainly spend less excruciating experience.

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